Talking with Young Children about Adoption by Mary WatkinsAbsolutely one of the best books Ive read regarding adoption. The first half of the book is very clinical and took me quite awhile to get through, but I went slow on purpose so as to permanently embed the info into my brain. The authors did an excellent job at discussing bias in adoption research, dissecting study after study and explaining what they really meant. They had the perfect balance of reality and compassion/emotion in discussing adoption research. They werent afraid to tackle difficult topics and so many times I felt myself saying Yes! Thats EXACTLY how I feel! They articulated so many thoughts and feelings I have had as parent of an adopted child.
The second half of the book was vignettes of real scenarios talking with children about adoption. It covered a broad range of ages and situations. I love how they included charts to show what types of questions are common at what stages of development and what could be the underlying feeling of a child behind certain words, phrases and concerns. They also included various responses from parents.
This book is 20 years old, but still contains excellent information for any family touched by adoption. I would absolutely love it if the authors updated it with more current research as adoption has changed so dramatically in the last two decades.
Talking to Children About Adoption: 6-7 Years Old
Adoptive parents often worry about how to tell their child they are adopted. At some point all children will question their parents about where they come from to try to understand who they are. Telling your child they are adopted can cause anxiety and be a stressful time. Remember that this is an important moment in your child's life and you don't want to get it wrong. There isn't a right time to tell your child that they are adopted but its best to tell them as early as possible. This is to avoid them learning about their adoption from anyone else, or feeling that their adoption is a bad thing. Adopted children should be made to feel very positive about their adoption and reassured that they are accepted and loved by their parents and family.
What your kids want to know about their adoption, and how to talk about it. Feelings about being adopted influence a child's sense of self-worth and esteem. Adoptive parents are caught in the paradox of helping their child understand what it means to be adopted while knowing that in the process, the child may feel rejected, sad, and hurt. Parents worry about how best to talk about adoption. A child's curiosity can be a signal for a parent.
Adoption is Cool Stage
The language we use to talk about adoption can have significant positive or negative impacts on children and their families. The list below present respectful ways to talk about adoption with families and children, as well as language and phrases to avoid. DO: Treat siblings who joined families by birth or adoption equally. They are loved equally by their parents and experience all of the joys and trials of any sibling relationship. Most birth parents have thought long and hard about their decision to place a child for adoption.